Author Topic: oh god i work for an evil empire!  (Read 12980 times)

HMD

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oh god i work for an evil empire!
« on: February 01, 2008, 02:21:08 am »
Taken from the Wiki-est of Pedias:

Quote
In 2006, The Washington Post revealed that Target is operating two sophisticated criminal forensics laboratories, one at their headquarters, the other in Las Vegas, NV. Originally, the lab was created as an internal need for the company to investigate instances of theft and fraud and other criminal actions that have occurred on its own properties. Eventually, the company began offering pro bono services to law enforcement agencies across the country. Target's Forensic Services has assisted agencies at all levels of government, including Federal agencies such as the United States Secret Service, Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms and the Federal Bureau of Investigation. The labs have become such a popular resource for law enforcement that Target has had to restrict the cases it assists in to only violent felonies.

Trust me, any employee (we call them Team Members) who steals from here is way too dumb to warrant dusting for prints or checking dropped fibers at the disturbingly sterile crime scene. They can be spotted on the security cameras which, as my friend in AP said, are good enough to read the numbers under a barcode, so its not like there will ever be a case of mistaken identity. It's fucked up enough that there is one crime lab, so what calls for the existence of a second one? Methinks something sinister is going on here!

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In 2002, the company was alerted to sporting caps and shorts having the number "88" embroidered on them. This number has been used by known white supremacist groups as slang for "Heil Hitler." A customer informed the company of the offensive merchandise. Target did not pull the merchandise or issue public apology until the Southern Poverty Law Center echoed its concern and the media began reporting on the issue.

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Despite Target's stated commitment to diversity, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People has repeatedly given Target failing grades on its annual Economic Reciprocity Initiative report card, a measure of the company's "commitment to the African-American citizenry". In 2003 and 2005, the NAACP has rated Target an "F" on this report; in 2004, Target was rated a "D-". In 2006, when Target was asked why it didn't participate in the survey again, a representative explained, "Target views diversity as being inclusive of all people from all different backgrounds, not just one group."

Uhhhhhhh...

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Sometimes manufacturers will create red-colored items, exclusively for Target. In 2002, Nintendo produced a red special edition variant of the Game Boy Advance, which featured the Target logo above the screen.

Oh no!

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Target calls its customers "guests", its employees "team members", and its supervisors "team leaders". Also, managers are known as "executive team leaders (ETL's)" and the store manager is known as the "store team leader". It derived this practice in 1989 from The Walt Disney Company.

More like calling its supervisors "The Turks" and calling the store manager "Rufus Shinra."

Man I guess it's a good thing none of the higher-ups post here, because then I'd totally be fired!

MMX

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Re: oh god i work for an evil empire!
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2008, 01:41:36 pm »
Name one large-scale corporation that isn't an evil empire.

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Re: oh god i work for an evil empire!
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2008, 01:45:31 pm »
Enron wasnt evil at all....  really
BlackShadow

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Re: oh god i work for an evil empire!
« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2008, 04:51:12 pm »
Name one large-scale corporation that isn't an evil empire.
Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Colonel Sanders wears all white and isn't Italian.  I think that speaks worlds.

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Re: oh god i work for an evil empire!
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2008, 05:11:36 pm »
I worked for Target before.

Calling customers 'Guests' is bullshit.

Why?

Because if you were a guest at my house and I had walls and walls of useless shit I didn't need, I'd just give it away.  Because there's transactions involved that makes you a customer.

Quote
"Target views diversity as being inclusive of all people from all different backgrounds, not just one group."
That's like that quote from the The Office that goes like, "This is a place of togetherness and family and we're very accepting, and that's why you should get the hell out of here."

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Re: oh god i work for an evil empire!
« Reply #5 on: February 01, 2008, 06:28:06 pm »
Sometimes manufacturers will create red-colored items, exclusively for Target. In 2002, Nintendo produced a red special edition variant of the Game Boy Advance, which featured the Target logo above the screen.

This is not specific to Target.  Its main competitor Wal-Mart brands a considerable amount of the merchandise sold in its stores.  Best Buy has been known to do it with music and dvds, too.
Nor is this anything new.  Music resellers like BMG have been doing this for 20 years.  And just about every cellphone you buy in America these days is branded to the service provider you purchased it from.



Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Except for the fact they were owned by PepsiCo for a time.  :-/
« Last Edit: February 01, 2008, 06:32:53 pm by JG00 »

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Re: oh god i work for an evil empire!
« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2008, 02:58:45 pm »
You mean they are no longer owned by Pepsi?  Well who purchased them because as good and ol' fashioned as they may appear to be we all know there's an evil puppet master pulling their strings >.>
Especially since they were owned by Pepsi.  WTF Pepsi never sells anything they own, corporate-wise, why would they.

ps ZOMG TRANS FATTIES

what it's the best ic ould think of off the topo fm yhead

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Re: oh god i work for an evil empire!
« Reply #7 on: February 03, 2008, 05:53:41 pm »
Your knowledge of KFC history is unacceptable.  Prepare to be educated:

Pepsi spun off their non-drink operations into a new company, TriCon Restuarants in 1997 so they could focus exclusively on soft drinks and the growing water market. The "Tri" in the company represented the restuarant chains absorbed from the division from PepsiCo:  KFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut.
The company has since purchased the Long John Silvers and A&W chains and renamed itself as Yum! Brands.

Each still sells Pepsi products though.  You will not find Coke products though you'll probably find Dr Pepper/7up products (and certainly would in A&W stores since Dr Pepper/7up bought the root beer rights while Yum! got the restuarants.)

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Re: oh god i work for an evil empire!
« Reply #8 on: February 03, 2008, 09:36:39 pm »
Your knowledge of KFC history is unacceptable.  Prepare to be educated:

Pepsi spun off their non-drink operations into a new company, TriCon Restuarants in 1997 so they could focus exclusively on soft drinks and the growing water market. The "Tri" in the company represented the restuarant chains absorbed from the division from PepsiCo:  KFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut.
The company has since purchased the Long John Silvers and A&W chains and renamed itself as Yum! Brands.

Each still sells Pepsi products though.  You will not find Coke products though you'll probably find Dr Pepper/7up products (and certainly would in A&W stores since Dr Pepper/7up bought the root beer rights while Yum! got the restuarants.)

FUCK

MMX

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Re: oh god i work for an evil empire!
« Reply #9 on: February 03, 2008, 11:24:27 pm »
Your knowledge of KFC history is unacceptable.  Prepare to be educated:

Pepsi spun off their non-drink operations into a new company, TriCon Restuarants in 1997 so they could focus exclusively on soft drinks and the growing water market. The "Tri" in the company represented the restuarant chains absorbed from the division from PepsiCo:  KFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut.
The company has since purchased the Long John Silvers and A&W chains and renamed itself as Yum! Brands.

Each still sells Pepsi products though.  You will not find Coke products though you'll probably find Dr Pepper/7up products (and certainly would in A&W stores since Dr Pepper/7up bought the root beer rights while Yum! got the restuarants.)

I dont' see the difference with what I said U_U

Although I will say, A&W's make great root beer floats and semi-decent cheeseburgers.  We need more roller skate waitress places in this country.  There also needs to be a roller skating version of Anna Miller's.  Or at least a new roller skating waitress added to the Rise series.... you know what, fuck it, I'd be happy just to see Akira running around half naked on roller-skates.  Who's with me?

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Re: oh god i work for an evil empire!
« Reply #10 on: February 04, 2008, 09:09:51 pm »
I dont' see the difference with what I said U_U

Although I will say, A&W's make great root beer floats and semi-decent cheeseburgers.  We need more roller skate waitress places in this country.  There also needs to be a roller skating version of Anna Miller's.  Or at least a new roller skating waitress added to the Rise series.... you know what, fuck it, I'd be happy just to see Akira running around half naked on roller-skates.  Who's with me?

I am!

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Re: oh god i work for an evil empire!
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2008, 05:53:25 pm »
There's your nanoreno/nanonero/whatever nano idea, HG.  Akira & Co. meet roller skates.

JG

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Re: oh god i work for an evil empire!
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2008, 08:13:40 pm »
There's your nanoreno/nanonero/whatever nano idea, HG.  Akira & Co. meet roller skates.

Fried Chicken must be the Anne Mitter's Special of the Day or it will not meet with my approval, no matter how sexy you make Karin look.

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Re: oh god i work for an evil empire!
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2008, 09:40:07 pm »
Karin on roller skates.

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Re: oh god i work for an evil empire!
« Reply #14 on: February 08, 2008, 12:06:37 am »
Karin on roller skates.

I know but Karin on roller skates plus Fried Chicken = multiple free internets.

Not to mention real potential for Game of the Year.