Author Topic: proceed to watching Hentai sweeties scream from hard insertions  (Read 12289 times)

Hyperguy

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proceed to watching Hentai sweeties scream from hard insertions
« on: November 14, 2005, 12:52:28 pm »
So, I got this e-mail in my inbox and it goes a little like this:

Date: 10/14/2005 23:23:54 -0700
From: Brogan Matthew <matthewhzpu@yahoo.com>
To: takayuki@hyperguy.net
Subject: proceed to watching Hentai sweeties scream from hard insertions

see them perform Cartoon Untouched blooming girls are
eager to get in some hot, hard touch! MANGA  Innocent
princesses are begging for some hot attention. Don’t
keep these tight hotties waiting! 

<link removed because it's too fucking retarded to post here>
HENTAI, ANIME Nasty innocent honeys are exploring
hardcore territories of stretching and creaming!


Hentai Tiny holes have to handle some really widening
penetrations, and they enjoy it!

</end spam>

So I really got to ask...

Who the hell writes this crap?  How hard do you have to be hit with the retard stick to come up with such captivating phrases like "see them perform Cartoon Untouched blooming girls are eager to get in some hot, hard touch!" and "HENTAI, ANIME Nasty innocent honeys are exploring hardcore territories of stretching and creaming!" ?

Nay, this couldn't have been written by a native English speaker.  There just isn't enough creative spelling.  But seriously, I think we could do better.  If you were writing a letter like this, how would you word it?

Personally, I'd go with something like....

Date: 10/14/2005 23:23:54 -0700
From: Brogan Matthew <matthewhzpu@yahoo.com>
To: takayuki@hyperguy.net
Subject: HOLY FUCK PORN

Hither to, fine ladies are waiting for you to thrust yonder
meat demon unto wanton apple pie of sweetness.
Juicyness akin to deluxe slip and slides abound, fair traveler of internets!
Dost large eyes and shiny hair harden thy resolve?

Nay, the largest eyes and fairest skin are bountyfull amongst
our steamy site's offerings!

http://www.yeoldecartoonfuck.cum/milk_maids_in_heat.html
The gamut of their fingering finely surpasses musical notes of
thy suculent sounding lute, for shizzle.

</end ye spam>
« Last Edit: November 14, 2005, 12:56:19 pm by Hyperguy »

JG

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Re: proceed to watching Hentai sweeties scream from hard insertions
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2005, 06:52:43 pm »
...fair traveler of internets...
Lol - I'm going to steal that.

Doctor_Raven

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Re: proceed to watching Hentai sweeties scream from hard insertions
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2005, 07:41:25 pm »
Now to see if I can translate this into Jive Talk.

Cut me some slack!
ಠ_ಠ
I saw what you did there.

Hyperguy

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Re: proceed to watching Hentai sweeties scream from hard insertions
« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2005, 01:01:28 pm »
THE SECRET REVEALED!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Arizona

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Re: proceed to watching Hentai sweeties scream from hard insertions
« Reply #4 on: November 15, 2005, 07:52:04 pm »
It's the Chinese. Try not to think too hard about these things.

p.s. if you're reading this, brogan matthew lin xiao wong, share the wealth

Ellendesu

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Re: proceed to watching Hentai sweeties scream from hard insertions
« Reply #5 on: November 15, 2005, 09:34:10 pm »
I do believe that Hyperguys ye olde english spam is the greatest thing I've read in at least 5 minutes.

Doctor_Raven

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Re: proceed to watching Hentai sweeties scream from hard insertions
« Reply #6 on: November 15, 2005, 10:17:10 pm »
http://www.cabcalloway.cc/_vti_bin/shtml.exe/jive_dictionary.htm

I have the power.... but not the time =____=
ಠ_ಠ
I saw what you did there.

Icysnowgirl

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Re: proceed to watching Hentai sweeties scream from hard insertions
« Reply #7 on: November 16, 2005, 09:44:53 am »
o_o;;  Oh the things I'll read while bored.

Interesting translation from that mail HG....  o_o;
o.o  Icy comes to haunt Captain.

Hyperguy

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Re: proceed to watching Hentai sweeties scream from hard insertions
« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2006, 11:27:44 am »
Maybe now would be a good time to reply to Brogan Matthew's e-mail.  I'll probably have to put it in the same language though, so I'll send him something with an e-mail subject line like "goat sluts goofed up on herbal viagra are waiting for you! click now!"